since its the last day of january, i'll blog again. and yes its chinese new year. all the food, gambling and alcohol makes you nothing but fat.

26/1 ;
me and darling's 9th month anniversary. sounds quite ironic cause we made this all up. we were never together happily for 9 months.

NO,NEVER!!

all we have are quarrels, breakups, me going with another guy who sucked. i dont like mentioning all these but its all true and i must admit that all that is making me losing my pace. i lose all the energy to think and then, i make mistakes. i have so much i can say regarding our relationship. how can a sweet loving couple get into this situation? i recall the past us and feel sad about the present which has been troubling me for long. i dont know for him but i know its horrible.

memories reminds me of the very moment i really saw and looked at him. he took a chair for me on the games day because of the holiday coming up then. it was very sweet of him but i almost took no notice. i thought its just out of thoughtfulness due to the injured knee i had. i couldnt walk for a week and was living hell.

a week or so later, we were at weiyang's birthday bbq without a single conversation except for a 'bye' at the end when he left, kinda like disturbing me also. i didnt know who said all that.

i put up a notice saying i've changed my number then he asked. we chat and he asked me out.

and so, i broke up with the previous to get with him. bitch you were saying? i am. so what? which girl wouldnt do this for someone she deserve?

we had happiness for a few months then he came along. i lied to him about the guy not msging me and he couldnt understand that i was trying not to make him angry. since then, he think of me as a liar and stopped trusting me. our relationship got worser and worser till i asked for a breakup.

this went on for another few months. breakups, patchups. again... and again. till now.

in between this, the november period, we broke up and i got together with another guy. thinking this will end the sufferings we had in this relastionship but instead, i brought on much more trouble. yes, this guy is an asshole. the one who i told everyone that he sucked. i dont know why i chose this guy. chao cheesefries!! chao turtle!! i wont wanna see him in my life anymore. might as well take him outta my memory. who knows any way?

arghs!! what a waste of brain space. i can use it to remember something else much more important like my maths formulae. (:

enough of him.

we went on together, again. of course with quarrels on both big and trival stuff. like 5 times a week. haha! i cant be bother anymore due to the regular visits of devil in both our heads. they want to get out non stop. theres no way both of us could stop this shit. what to do? quarrel lorh. HAHAHA!! eh, this is joke lorh. laugh leh~

wanted to go for a dinner with him but my parents wanted one as well. i was real unhappy as this was all unplanned and they expect this to happen. expect that i will sit there like nothing has happened. hah! another joke. in the end he had to go home alone after waiting alone outside causeway point for me.

ate my dinner and went home.

27/1 ;
happy cny to all, whoever who celebrates this occasion. i must say this is the most boring cny i've had.
we are dismissed at 93oam then had to assemble at bout 1o1oam. everything went on quite well. except that net decided not to join us. i shant elaborate on this further.
school's celebration is today and choir is suppose to sing. the audiences should sing with us but no one seemed to followed. so many embarassments and disagreements. arghs. i dont wanna start. =/

pk and i decided to shop around cwp. looked for watches, shoes. almost everything we could. i bought a pair of shoes!


$19.8o at ebase. (:

got really bored and went home. she asked me out again to do some shopping and then to fragrant for chit chat. meet up danny and the rest for a movie. 'i not stupid too'

i enjoyed myself, with tears and laughter. real great movie. miss it and spent rest of your life regreting. hmm, that serious? =pp actually you can get yourself the dvd or vcd coming out about a few months later if they have it. i dont know. im not jack neo. =/

reached home at 12plus and got scolded. o.o

28/1 ;
woke up early in the morning and straight to my ahma house for the reunion dinner!! yeah!! xD my favourite dinner!! includes a big pot full of sea cucumber stewed with duck.

BEST OKAY!! wahaha...

alot people might think its eww~
or something like that. right?

so anyway, my ah gong and daddy side uncles gave me hongbao. (: got bout $15o.

i slept there for almost the whole time i was there. daddy and my uncles played cards till 11 plus and went home all tired. slept again.

quite a boring day huh?

29/1 ;
gong xi fa cai!! hong bao na lai!! OO two big 'gham' for you. (:

woke up really early to get ready, dolled up and went straight to my ah ma house to pai nian. found myself falling asleep while waiting for everyone to have their breakfast.

;i am afraid


FINALLY!! YES FINALLY FOR A THOUSAND TIMES!

i came to blog. =D

i dont think anyone cared right? wahaha~ my momma came back from taipei today and she bought me my birthday present. which is something i've been wanting for donkey years.

presenting... (drum rolls*)


tadah!! my beyond paradise!! and for goodness sake i could strike that out from my freaking wishlist!
how nice. =D


chio leh~


this is the lip gloss, mascara and the box that contained all of these

the 'beautiful' series eau de parfum. i know its blur. phone is lousy.

pouch from estee lauder

night-repair cream

my momma bought estee lauder pleasure intense.





then she got this.



of course, she bought food.



a table of it! including...


CHEWING GUMS!! (in mint,peppermint and strawberry flavour)
wahaha!!~~

wenshen gave me birthday present right after school today and its a chio necklace and earstuds. but i heard this is chosen by his momma. xD

theres this coincidence where i get a somehow similiar present every year.

2oo4


2oo5



2oo6

its not clear... yeah... -.-" s...u...c...k...e...d

21/1 ;
wanted to catch memoirs of a geisha but cine was busted with people. missed every single shit. arghs. x[ took stupid photos. pardon us, its just boredom.




look at my ugly face!!


inhalers for sale!!

22/1 ;
went cine with bian and quarrelled. again you are saying. right? haha. this time we got so serious, i threw the ring he gave me on the floor hard. telling him to get this on another girl's hand. how funny. i dont know what i was doing anyway.


a very stunning blur picture you see here. it looks fab really.

bought clothings out of anger again. gosh i spend over $6o in a day. i think i must get a plan going to stop this spending habit. =/




and earrings that i missed out the photo section. cute. =)

a big sorry to qiming and kenyo on that day. kenyo was rushing back to camp but i held on their time being a bitch.

got home and continued with the quarrelling. of course. then everything goes well again. of course. =)

i remember this day saying... (i forget the date. i have bad memory alright!!) i just know its before the chinese new year.
shopping spree!! yeah!! xD momma paid. wohoo~ she still owe me $4oplus. wahaha!! woke up this morning so sian. nua already. dying soon also. thought its end of the world. sunday and im still stuck at home. oh man. =/ how worse can this become to? slack till afternoon then momma ask if i want to go cwp for shopping. of course i'm happy lah got thing to do and can shop =D
bought:



and this belt from manmaster, a denim jacket from john little and maybelline concealer. i look bad with dark eyerings. argh. =/

*******

something has been in my heart for long. i've been saying and thinking that i've no friends. i think its because i didnt use my heart to feel that they are just around me. wenn told me, 'you feel you dont have a single best friend because everyone is your best friend.' thanks my friend.

and, i was really surprised by the amount of people saying happy birthday to me on the actual day and people having the thought of giving presents and stuff. i was really touched by the effort. its enough. i'll just kick backstabbers, assholes, fucker teo wanyee the bitch and her friends who are exactly the same aside. i know my friends care. =D

;i am afraid


i blog because i feel emptiness in my life. i envy lynette, i envy everyone with a best friend. selfishly leaving me with no one. how to go on with life? yes, laugh at me. laugh loud to joke about the fact that christie has no best friend.

okay, a bf is not counted. its not like a best friend. its all different. =/

ah, i respect you for who you are and i hate you for what you are. you wouldnt understand anyway. i just hate you.

school is boring, art is killing me and the other subjects are strangling me. true enough, i hate school but i have to attend. you know what for and i admit so i try to not hate it. then it starts to get me going with work, so on and so forth.

read a book called 'i believe you' by low kay hwa. got to this book by karmen and she borrowed it from rui jie.

this is a story about a girl called joanna fung and a guy called jacky wu. along with joanna's only friend, landy. i almost cried reading this and its a good catch. buy it at goodybooks now!! it doesnt even cost you 1o bucks. worth piece.

but if you really the thrifty kind then okay lah. go to ibelieveyou to read the online story. but no ending. thats why damn budget. buy the book to read lah. its like $6.8o each. =D enjoy okay.

well, went for a movie after choir with bian. he fell asleep in there. i also dont know why. anyway, its called 'In her shoes' starring cameron diaz and i dont really know the names of the other people in there. shes awesome, the show is awesome and most importantly, what precious friendship they showed is damn awesome. for some reason, i cried while watching. probably because i havent had something like that happening to me.

i may buy the book at $13 after a 2o% discount at popular. its great. catch the show alright.

then went home with everyone in black, as usual. i think i can never return home with everyone looking happy. never. phone bill came and mine was $79.3o i think. i forgot the cents part. i had to pay $5o. great. pay when she is the one who has money. pay with the money i use to buy cny clothes. just great.

i hate school, i hate holidays. i dont know what i like. i dont even like shopping now.

i just hope i'll rot and die right now. if not, soon.

;i am afraid


the day started well, english was alright and so are the other subjects. except for PE.

my favourite teacher has always been him. he is this cute, fun and anything nice you can think of. but this PE lesson with him let me see the true side of him. ask me personally for his name if you wanna know.

i never mean to say anything offensive but he made me change everything i feel about him and now, i hate him.

if you really must know, he scolded me in front of everyone. for not running, for not telling him i had a painful knee, for at least trying to run, for being accused that im not.

yes i hate him.

felt accused for the rest of the day and heck care quite about everything, except lessons of course. spoilt my day to the core. fuck.

went home right after school and got along with the little life.

monday, nothing special.

;i am afraid


4 and a half hour day to my birthday and i feel really down.

no one to talk to and bian being the one i can talk to is always sick. i called him upteen times but he slept. poor thing.

i've been slacking at home since yesterday.

CAN YOU IMAGINE YOURSELF SLACKING AT HOME ON FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS?

i need not imagine.

life is boring, gaming is boring, being online in msn is boring. even writing blog is boring cause i have nothing to blog about.

maybe theres boredom for me to blog about.

looked upon xiaxue's blog just now and read her recent entry about the countdown at orchard road. she got saved from ass-groping guys by a guy.

guys usually chicken out when their girl got into a sticky situation and i really think they should just go knock their heads in the wall and stay away from his girl!

they are such wimps!! aren't they suppose to act like a guy? better, a guy who protects his girl is the least he should do!

GUYS! GIRL WOULD HAVE GOT ALL THIS GROPING SHIT BECAUSE OF SOME OF THE ASSHOLES RIGHT?

i think they just need something to grab on. how ironic. -.-

then i watched this show on channel 54 called 超级两代电力公司. those who have it then you should catch this show every weekend at 9pm till 1opm.
theres a topic for every episode and it talks about everything under the sun. great stuff.

the topic for today is 'gigolos'. actually they are not exactly that. they are just guys who suck the hell outta girl's pocket. in case you tried to act blur here, its $$ we are talking about. what i call wimps. seriously.

the guys got like car, bike and money from the gf(s) and looked as if they are some tough shit. theres this guy who got with this old woman at 台币$2million for one year. HAH!

i think both the guys and their gfs should wake up!!

the guy... just one word. wimps or pimps. just like a... i've no better word.

the girl, just dumb. guys should pay! its no bully but respect!

i sighed when i saw such girls. disgrace eh? you pay man to love you? no no no you dont get love. you just pay. DUMB!

dont know when guys will start to respect both the girls and themselves.

oh gosh im talking crap again.
no no no, im talking to myself again.

=/

like what i've mentioned. i've... no friend. friend as in... you know, bestie. i've none.

so what? no one cared.

looks like i should get some sleep now.

ciao.

;i am afraid


here i am, with my sleepy head thinking, 'gosh i wake up damn late. suppose to go visit my popo at bishan.' -.-"

dammit.

so anyway, bian haven't call since... yesterday night at 9? he say will call then dont know what happen to him also. i dont care liao.

its a saturday and im bored. i can see it hasnt been raining so frequently since yesterday. and im still not going out. no one asked me. LOL. people must be busy with their lives with their best friends. leaving me with no one now.

looking pathetic?

for all i know, he patch with her ler. o.o then? like that lorh. -.-

;i am afraid


im still working on my previous post so i'll write bout yesterday and today. arghs. i've to rush diablo II!! sorry guys, whoever who reads my blog anyway. =O

12/1;
its jason siow and ahger serene's birthday. what can i do? skipped school. i need serious rest. slept and went ite with bian for stuff and so on. head down to bugis and shopped around. he's really tired shopping with me as i'll never get tired. o.o bought a brown spag top and a skirt. cost me $43. now im broke. hope momma pays cause im buying for new year. =/ walked back to cwp to look at more stuff. saw sylvia, evan and kaisin. bian bought dove amicelli chocolates for me!! thanks eh. =D


nice?


picture damn small cause my hp 'lao ya'.

13/1;
early dismissal for today. cause its friday!! yeah!! had lunch with fer LOVE, lynn laopo, serser and pamela after school. =D

black friday seems alright to me. i haven't encounter any strange or unlucky matters till now.

i use to think black fridays are really cursed. i've never stepped outta house because of this. im too suspicious in the past. all crap. its just normal friday.

friday the 13th? didnt scare me.

played diablo II till now. died in maggot cave level 3. arghs!! have to walk all the way in big circles to get there. how tedious. =/ i don't even know where the poison came from! (to those who don't know, i apologise. its just some nice game. haha!)

i'll update if possible.

sorry if i bore you out. im bored.

o.o

;i am afraid


UPDATE!!*******

woke up really tired this morning and had to complete the mass run. me and wenn walked throughout and had to do extra round with yixuan and tinghui cause they were with us as well.

mass run sucked.

reached class for SS.(more details in my later entry about my first day of school and etc.) mdm radiah told us to write down any important thoughts we were having then. for me, i wanna sleep and go shopping. wahaha! studies is forever a important thought mah. chey! (like real)

for two periods, i listened to relations between spore, msia, sabah and sarawak.

its chem at the lab after that. mr liew brought us to the lab to discuss lab rules and talk all rubbish. and me, i was busy taking pictures of almost nothing. (update all that asap.) okay it was a waste of precious time.


at the chem lab!!


i brought sunflower chocolate seeds along. =D


im sitting with wenn and she puts her hp on the desk! how nice.


toh pai kia and samuel damn bored also. erm, also? cause im bored. bahaha!!

had recess with rui jie and the rest. i see no sight of lynn, fer and jess until the end of it. gosh!

english sucked, usual stuff for maths and mr justin thought im using handphone to sms when im actually using the calculator. -.-

MT still got 'ting xie' !! can u believe it? how old are we? i got all correct. =D

physics. well, sucked.

did almost nothing today. played diablo II, till bedtime. which is like now. life sucks.

i wanna shop again =[

MONEY MONEY MONEY!!

;i am afraid


I’m back for now, without anger for the entry the previous time.

I was talking about how I felt for kpool there. How I celebrated bian’s birthday with the staff and some lucky people to get to eat the cake I bought.

For the information to all those who didn’t know what was going on for me talking about that, kpool in cwp is already down on the 2nd of January.

So ironic, cant even let me wait till my 16 year old birthday to go in for a game. o.o I really don’t know why they want to change it in to some food centre! (this is what I heard) and then take every right away from people who wants to some ass kicked in there.(I mean in the game xD)

Okay enough about dreadful stuff. I’ll start with the first day of school. It was… hell.

3/1;
Momma woke me up and thinking it was still holiday, I wanted to once again lie down. Looking at my calendar, I knew I’m gonna face people different. I aint the same kind. I just know. The texts are the same; almost every thing is the same. I don’t know how I’m gonna study also lah, I don’t know how NA works. But for sure its gonna be easy for me.

I’m sitting with Karmen and I know she’s nice and all. I’m in the same class with toh pai kia, Samuel, Marvin, yi xuan and Cassandra. She’s somehow the same gang of the bitches club now. Makes her a bitch? Guess so. o.o

First day is usual. I got to know my form and physics teacher, Mrs. kim loh, some of my other subject teachers like Mr. justin for maths, 何老师 for MT, madam radiah for SS, Mr. liew for chemistry, Mr. ben for PE, Mr. koh for geography (again! xD) and now madam hanifa for art taking O levels. I will have to take the N levels if I’m not up to standard. I guess I am.

No lessons due to the enormous amount of talks given, the repeated introductions and boring incidents between toh pai kia and some teachers. But some is LMAO cases lah. Just nothing special.

I’ll just talk about the first day since school days are typical and so. Had choir that Thursday and heard I’m in the senior choir. Yippee! xD

This entry looks shorter then the one I was suppose to publish. Oh well, blame… myself and the internet of course! Who else? =/

I’m already speechless.
For goodness sake let me work my puny brain!!

;i am afraid


I WROTE SUCH A FREAKING LONG ENTRY AND INTERNET GIVE ME FUCKING PROBLEMS. ALL GONE LORH. DAMN BLOGGER.

NO MOOD TO BLOG ANYMORE. I WROTE SOOOO DAMN LONG CAN? WHAT THE FUCK IS MY INTERNET DOING? IM SO DAMN ANGRY. ALL MY EMOTIONS ARE GONE. I FREAKINGLY FELT SO MUCH FOR THIS ENTRY CAUSE THEY WERE ABOUT THE THOUGHTS DEEP, RIGHT DEEP IN MY HEART!!

ALL CRAP!!

EVERYTHING I DO GOES WRONG. ALL THE TIME!!

FUCK YOU!!

X[

;i am afraid


im blogging? oh yes im blogging. that moron wants to patch but i rejected for goodness sake. he cant stop behaving this way. i mean whats wrong with him ey?
meet up with celeste and the pig. xD how ironic, he looks nothing like it.


she looks like tan geok!! of cos without... you know...
and, i love her. =D

choir on the 29th and the banner ziwei drew rock lah can? i cant believe she can freaking draw!! they are splendid. oh ya, richard sings like... westlife. @@ hmms thats all i can say cause they are working on 'flying without wings'. he rocked too. quiet richard is he? meet up with danny with net. (: finally talked with him again.

meet up with fer LOVE, lynn laopo and teresa the next day. i woke up real late and meet them up at bugis for neos first.




arent they cute? im not. =/ oh gosh i look... ghastly. yucks.

we walked around and saw hello kitty lolita black handbag!! omfg!! but i have no $$$. T.T cry ah. sad lah. i can already imagine myself clinging on the lovely little thing. i know im dreaming but hey, why not? xD
teresa wanted to buy bag and fer bought a top for herself as well as for her sam. as for me, i bought sunglasses!! $9.9o!! arghs!!



then i start looking ugly in camera.

as for the last day of 2oo5, of cause, resolutions are made, wishes are done and people start making decisions for probably new life. for me, i did my homework, i did what people normally do.

ahem~

For 2oo6:

1. not get distracted in class by... erm... brats.
2. no more sleeping in class
3. no more slacking on projects and work regarding examination
4. improve maths no matter what
5. not to bully teachers
6. teachers will start liking me @@ (possible?)
7. save $$$
8. get him off my mind (i cant ='[)
9. find my best friend, someone who thinks of me first. someone i'll always go to. (i dont have one, pathetic?)
10. good results of cause.

all my dead points. crap. hard year for me. oh dammit. =/

went out to cwp meeting fabian for countdown but they backed out in the end. slacked around and help ah hao to get number from girls. i remember running away from people trying to get my number. okay it sucked cause they all looked like some pervert. yuckss.

then the expected part, we quarrelled again cause he wanted to followed me home when i requested going home alone. he insisted then it begin. i was so mad i called danny up and he was so coincidentally just at the entrance of cwp. meet him up and chat. =D wahaha. he's nice. i felt alot better. i do, thanks danny. thanks alot. i welcomed new year with him and im really glad that at least someone's by my side. happy new year to you. (:

thanks Danny!! thanks for welcoming new 2oo6 with me. thanks for bringing me home. thanks for offering to buy food. thanks for being so nice to me. 谢谢你了！你真好！

got home and watched 大长今 with momma. nice show!! i thought its some crap but its actually quite interesting lah. haha!

talked with so many people, cried and wondered. why is my life in such a mess? i thought i said goodbye to 2812o5, the day he broke up. but he still lingers around me, im trying to breathe but failed. pig called, i stopped crying.

cooled down but he called. i foolishly answered this stupid call and brokedown once again. he broke his promise. he lied with his swear. he perished my hopes on him, everything. i can onluy say time heals all. i dont know how to continue, what to write more. im grateful for what i have now. i am, i just need a best friend. thats all.

i have to wake at 9am.

ciaos.

have a happy new year and good night to all. (:

i love every memory, every moment spent with you. but why did you break the prettiest view i had on you? why did you lie? why did you break all the promises made?

;i am afraid